With the news that Brandon Beachy might be out for the season (or more), I don’t know what to do. He is the epitome of my sexual frustration, and I like it. It’s a good frustration. But now, now what am I to do?! I don’t know….

I guess I’ll be left with coming up with elaborate fantasies involving me giving him sponge baths after his surgery (which they haven’t officially announced at the time I’m typing this, but my gut feeling is that he’ll have to have it).

Even though I’m sure Tommy John surgery doesn’t render one incapable of bathing oneself, if he ever needed help I’d be there ready and willing.